It's been a while since I posted! So here's one right now!
Anyway, the year's coming to an end, and a lot has happened this year. I got a new class, learnt new stuff in my classes, worked with new people, took over my CCA with my other squadmates, been busy as hell, missed my junior years like crazy, struggled like crap with exams and all that, passed my Chinese exam after three bloody years, planned and executed lessons and camps, started this blog, travelled to two countries within a month, and started Ghost.
It's been a busy year, definitely. The start of next year is gonna be killer as well. I'm supposed to lead a team from my CCA into a competition, and it's quite a bit of pressure here. The number of people we're allowed to enter has been cut down, and it's ridiculous. I don't really know how I'm going to go about doing this nonsense. I'm really hoping April will come along soon, when I can step down and focus on my studies and my "side projects".
Being in the IP stream, I don't actually have to take 'O'-Levels, only for Chinese. Which is my weakest subject. WHY. I'm gearing up for the new year, really. I'm gonna tidy up my desk and under my table, and keep it that why for the rest of the year. I'm gonna keep myself fit, even if I don't really slim down. I want to be healthy, and I want to do well in school.
Of course, we always have that one person in class that doesn't hand up homework and doesn't mind owing a single piece of homework for an entire year. I'm that person. And I don't want to be that person anymore. It's annoying, having to run from your teachers, despite knowing that you'll meet them in class anyway. I don't want them to be breathing down my neck anymore, and I don't want to drop any further than I already have. I'd describe myself as the bottom of the bottom, if anything. And it feels horrible. I want to score well. I don't want to have to take up Chinese in JC, when I can be using the time to do other things.
To be honest, I've been investing more time and effort into my CCA than anything else these past three years. Nothing else seemed to matter. One of the reasons was because I excel in my CCA. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I am best at my CCA. If you think about in another way, that's pretty fucking pathetic. Who cares if you're good at your CCA if you can't score well in exams and stuff? No one's going to be like, "Oh hey, she does well in her CCA. Let's take her in." No, it doesn't work that way. It's all about how many As you can get and how hard you work to keep it that way.
I'm not trying to say that CCA isn't important. It just isn't as important. Really, I've always known that, but it didn't stop me from putting a crazy amount of energy into that. It was my biggest mistake, but also my best choice. I don't really regret. I never have, and I never will. Why? Because if I didn't put my time and effort into my CCA, then I would have absolutely no achievements at all. I'd be bad at my CCA as well as my studies. I know myself. I would still not have studied back then. It didn't seem to matter.
Now I see it. How important it actually is. Which is why I'm going to change. It's no longer "trying to change". "I fight not because I think I can win, but because I have to." There's no point in doing something if you don't resolve to see it to the end. I'm going to see it to the end. This blog is slightly over 6 months old. A little bit of an achievement, if you ask me. And I'm going to keep doing this blogging thing for as long as I can. It's gonna be my thing, and I'm gonna see it to the end.
Ghost as well. I missed the last update because I was overseas. But I'm going to stick to the "every Saturday"-updates and I'm going to finish this book. It's a promise I'm making to myself, as well as all my readers. I'm sick and tired of incomplete stuff. I never really finish what I start. No more. I'm going to do this right this time. It's time to start tying up the loose ends, make up for the shortfall.
I hope y'all have some kind of goal of your own that you wish to achieve as well! It makes life exciting, no? Even if you don't have any goals (which I didn't for my entire life), please watch as I achieve mine! Alright, this is it for now! Live well, Love much, Laugh often!
-Midnight Flint
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