Alright so it's Sunday and it's the first time in a long time (approximately 4 months) that I've done a blog post so soon after the last one. So it's like this. A month or so ago, I turned up at my music school (it's like a tuition centre but teaches music? I guess?) and there was no class on that day as they were holding auditions for some performance next year on 4 January. So the admin staff were like, "Oh, never mind lah, just audition first. (Although I didn't even sign up for auditions...) Maybe you'll get in, maybe you won't. Just try your luck lah." And so, stupid me went for the auditions not to get in. I had barely practiced the song I used for a really long time, and I made many mistakes. I was sure I wasn't going to get in.
And then I got back, and told my older brother, "Kor (some of us call our older brothers "Kor" here in Singapore.), I just went for auditions LOL." and he replied, "Oh really? You know you're gonna get in? There aren't many people who are Grade 8 you know. Even if you played Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and played the entire song wrong, you would have gotten in anyway." And I was like, "Well shit." I had no intentions of performing, and I still don't, by the way.
So today, I was told I got selected to perform, among like over 100 other students, perhaps?? The freaking thing will be 3 hours long, from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m., and performers have to report at 9 a.m. before the actual thing to rehearse and do all sorts of other shit. No thank you. There are a few other reasons why I rejected it as well, other than not even wanting to go in the first place. Well, I had half a mind to go AT FIRST. But then, no.
Here's why I chose not to go:
1) It's a duet.
Do you have any idea how horrible the part I'm supposed to play is? I'm currently Grade 8, and my partner is supposedly Grade 7. I don't even know his name, much less what he looks like. And I won't know either of the above until November, when my schedule is packed as heck due to camp and preparations for camp, followed by overseas trips, which leaves me approximately a few days to practice the song and then a few hours to rehearse with my "partner". No.
2) The song is horrible.
I cannot even begin to describe how bad the song sounds. Well, my part at least. It's just a repetition of itself over and over again, with minor changes. Again, supporting roles aren't all the great, if you realised. I have no intention of bringing it to stage, let alone perform it. And since it's a supporting role, I have to play it softer. Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope.
3) It's not even on a grand piano.
This is one of my greatest complaints. Okay, it sounds stupid, but who cares?? It's a freaking concert thingy, 3 hours long, with guitar, violin and piano songs flying everywhere, but because there are like little kids performing or something, the grand piano will not be used. What? There is a prerequisite if you want to get me to perform a piano piece. It has to be on a grand piano. Especially since it's a concert. And it has to be a solo. No exceptions. I'm already making compromises if it's a duet on a grand piano, but it's going to be a duet on a keyboard. It's not even a freaking piano.
4) There's a dress code and makeup is required.
I don't remember telling you guys if I'm a female or male, but news flash, I'm a girl. I think you'd have guessed. Anyway, so the dress code for females is white dress and white shoes. I don't have a white dress, and the only white shoes I have are the white Converse shoes I wear to school when my sports shoes are wet. They're greying and fraying a little, if anything. So... imagine a white dress and then grey, fraying shoes. Sounds good. And then the makeup. Oh gosh, the makeup. Anything on the face is uncomfortable. There is a very high chance I will remove everything even before I go up on stage. And what's the point, they can't even see your face.
5) Performers have to be there by 9 a.m., when the concert only starts at 2 p.m.
Uhh, it's way too fucking long? Like, you want me to be there 5 freaking hours earlier, to play the same song again and again, perform for 3 minutes and then it's over? I would have wasted an entire day. 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. is a total of 8 hours, not including travelling time, which could easily take 2 hours in total. I could watch at least 20 episodes of any anime and still have time to spare, which would then equate to maybe 22 or 23 episodes. I'm not stupid, I wouldn't sacrifice needlessly like that.
6) I don't even want to be a performer when I grow up.
I get stage fright. Pfffft, no I don't. Anyway, it's not my dream to play the piano and compose music and wear makeup and dresses all day every day. In fact, that sounds more like a nightmare than a dream. I don't want to be practicing till my fingers break or something, playing for more than 2 hours sounds horrible enough already, much less 15 hours, taking out 8 hours of sleep per day, and meal times. Music is something that I use to relax. It's not a career option. I think I've said that before.
Alright, so this is the list of why I declined the role. My "partner" was actually supposed to do a solo previously, but then they decided that they wanted him to do a duet with me. But no. I don't want to perform to begin with, and if he can get the limelight, why the hell not? And he's probably more comfortable doing a solo, especially if he will only see me in November, and then realise that I'm not doing to show up for a large part of the month, as well as the next. So, it's now a win-win situation.
Well, anyways, maybe one day I'll decide that I want to perform in some other concert, but that's another matter altogether (sort of). I'll end off here, and for those musicians out there, keep chasing your dreams, and always know what you want! Be clear on what you wish to achieve, and then go all out, with failure not being an option! Don't forget to have a backup plan :P ;) Alright! Live well, Love much, Laugh often!
-Midnight Flint
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