Senpai!

Ahhh, I had my piano exam today, and I think I might have failed? Haha I have never been so unprepared before I had no idea what the examiner was asking; he looked relatively displeased with me. So anyway, yeah. I am totally not touching the piano on my own accord for the next 3 months or so.

Tomorrow, I have a CCA event, so I'll have to wake up early, about 6 a.m. Anyway, it's a little difficult to put into words what I'm about to say, but I'll try my best. So like, my CCA is kind of like an organisation, so like there are other people who run the event as well. They're volunteers who are part of the organisation and they (obviously) volunteer and help out with events like these whenever they can. I think you can probably guess what CCA I'm in by now. If you can't, it's not important.

Anyway, there's this one volunteer that, from what I observed, has been helping out at every single event that they hold. Well, many of them are like him, and those volunteers have become familiar to us, even if we are not familiar to them (like a stalker hahaha). We'll call this volunteer C. C is clearly a guy, and well... I may or may not have a crush on him. Who am I kidding, I like C. More than I should. I honestly don't know why. It's not as if he's shown any outstanding quality such as being outspoken, focused and constantly on task, or anything at all. But I'm somehow just drawn to him like a moth to a flame. He's 5 years older than me (okay, the age gap is a little big, but who cares, he's cute), and he makes me want him to notice me. For outstanding performance, exceptional skills, anything. I just want him to remember me, in a positive way.

He does lots of photography (he studies it), and I'm just completely drawn in and impressed by the photos he takes. They may seem very simple, but they catch your eye and make you go, "Hey, that's really good." I really don't know him that well and all that, but I'm still hopelessly attracted to him. Each event I go for, I hope to see him, or even catch a glimpse of him. And then it leaves me wanting more. To bask in his presence is good enough, even if he doesn't know my name. Of course, I'm hoping that I will see him tomorrow as well, and that's one reason why I'm going for the event, as well as to cheer my school on! It's a competition, so I'm really hoping we win, as the team has put in lots of effort (I'm not participating, I'm just there to support haha).

I don't know if this is just infatuation or whatever, but it's a relatively new experience. It's not like the kind where you crush on celebrities and stuff, because they're pretty much in a totally different league and there's almost no chance for you to ever meet them, let alone date them. But this is different. Anything is possible, as long as I can get closer to C. C actually lives a few bus stops away from me, but he doesn't know that, nor does he really need to know. I'm hoping to see him sometime soon, maybe on the bus or something, but I know that the chances of that happening is really very low.

Well, this was just a quick post to get this issue off my chest (though I'm sure it won't go away anytime soon...), and let you readers know what I'm feeling. After all, I am merely one of many hormonal teenagers who likes to blog and put down her stuff in an attempt to control and understand myself and my feelings better.

Alright, it's really late (11. 52 p.m.) here in Singapore, and I'm gonna go sleep so I can wake up tomorrow. Please notice me, Senpai! Nights! Live well, Love much, Laugh often!

-Midnight Flint